‘News’ from the Hong Wrong Sub-Standard: A local who offered secure accommodation to US whistleblower Edward Snowden expressed relief at his departure from the territory yesterday. “Eddie had been in our maid room for 3 weeks, I don’t know if he had cabin fever or something but he was really starting to do my head in”, said Snowden’s housemate known only as Mr Chen.
Snowden made a series of revelations this month regarding a top secret US spying programme codenamed Prism. Chen advertised his spare room on Craigslist but immediately regretted shacking up with Snowden… “He rarely cleaned up, was constantly online, often blared European trance music and I think he must’ve taken the bins out, like, what? Twice?”
Chen, a tax auditor residing in Western district, also resented having to respond to Snowden’s increasingly bizarre demands. “After a server at the 7/11 downstairs recognised him from his viral vid, Eddie had me bring up food and drink, porn, tons of tin foil, cat6 Ethernet cabling, Spanish phrasebooks and copious amounts of Pocky. This guy was obsessed with Pocky.”