‘NEWS’ – CY Leung Warns ‘Occupy’ Protest May Trigger the Apocalypse

It's satire, moronsBreaking News Bullshit from the Hong Wrong Sub-Standard: Hong Kong’s Chief Executive has warned that the non-violent pro-democracy ‘Occupy Central’ proposal may trigger the annihilation of mankind if it is allowed to take place.

At a press conference this morning, CY Leung said that mass riots and looting would be followed by Hong Kong’s very own PLA-sponsored ‘Tiananmen’ re-enactment in the run-up to the arrival of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse, whom he knows personally.

Hong Kong apocalypse

A press handout showing Hong Kong, one week after ‘Occupy Central’ takes place.

Should the planned demonstration take place, officials say that citizens will abandon all pretence of law and order and be transformed into baby-eating, fire-starting, pillaging savages hell-bent on decimating Hong Kong’s harmonious society whilst crushing all hope for the future.

Urging Hong Kongers to act “in accordance with the relevant passages of the Basic Law“, Leung warned that the apocalypse could have a long-term effect on the local stock market and property values. The End of Times may also cause traffic disruption and damage Hong Kong’s reputation abroad.

Hong Kong chaos

A preview from the upcoming showdown, ‘Democracy Now’ as CY Leung warns of inevitable doom.

As Hong Kong issued a ‘black travel warning’ against itself, Beijing has not ruled out releasing SARS-ridden tank-driving zombies to ‘scoop up’ pro-democracy activists. Meanwhile, members of the pro-Beijing, outspoken ‘Silent Majority’ minority were last seen barricading themselves into Sheung Wan’s China Liaison Office with six crates of Cup Noodles and baby milk maniacally hollering “told you so” at bewildered passers-by.

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Breaking news bullshit from the Hong Wrong Sub-Standard (it’s satire, morons)…

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