BLOG – How to Use Social Networking in Hong Kong 13

With some of the highest social networking and smartphone usage in the world, it is important foreigners learn how to use social media correctly when relocating to Hong Kong…

Upon arriving in the city, be sure to change your Facebook Timeline picture to the skyline. Maintain this throughout your introductory 6-month FOB / FNG status…

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Before each meal, ensure you document your food before tucking in. Instantly alert 500 old primary school friends, ex-boyfriends, gran and that random-dude-you-met-once-at-a-party to your Coco Pops or the love heart design on top of your Holly Brown cappuccino…

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Victory signs outside of designer stores, amusing license plates and timely screenshots of your phone’s weather app are mandatory on all social media platforms. Impress your friends in Kent with how badass your new home is by reporting meticulously on incoming typhoon warning signals. And hashtagging each word is compulsory – #even #on #Facebook.

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Showcase your wealth and taste by publicising your post-shopping trip ‘haul’…

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If unwell and attending a clinic, post a picture of your medical wristband without explanation (even if it’s just a Groupon health check). Friends are then obligated to demonstrate concern, specifically commenting ‘add oil’

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Should you pop over to Bangkok for Chinese New Year, be sure to ‘check-in’ online at HK International Airport and Instagram the shit out of your gate boarding notice. HK Immigration law specifically stipulates that you haven’t actually left the territory until you do this…

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When returning, be sure to triumphantly announce that you are ‘back in the 852′ – under no circumstances ought one refer to the city as ‘Hong Kong’…

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Any other suggestions? Leave a message in the comment section below…

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See also: The Hong Kong Hiking Game

  • Tammy Sammy

    Hilarious and oh so true!

  • Simon

    If anyone has a status about struggling with too much work/illness/any problem use the utility support phrase ‘add oil’ (???

  • Kay Ross

    Post tweets about those oh-so-hilarious English-language names that HK-Chinese people use.

  • Gay Chevara

    I live in Shanghai. No one says ‘Glad to be back in the +021′. They just remark on the PM2.5 particulates in the air. ;-)

    • terroir

      True story: I have a map that has PM 2.5 particulates mapped by geographical location.

      • Gay Chevara

        Oh I believe you, Terroir, I believe you….

  • oblivia

    Another classic is to write a sneering blog post about how everyone else does the internet wrong.

  • thorncliff

    hilarious and true

  • Suhani Jain

    LOL this is so apt!

  • RickinHK

    All selfies must be published after an Instagram filter and/or a ‘Line App’ sticker.

  • Jetlag and Mayhem

    I LOVE this!

  • asian don draper

    where are the hashtags?!

  • anna pajama

    looks like every city in the world/nothing here unique to Hong Kong at all.