‘NEWS’ – HK Gov’t to Adapt Tsim Sha Tsui to Mainland Tourist Influx 5


eycwfAr.png (258×73)‘News’ from the Hong Wrong Sub-Standard: Hong Kong Chief Executive CY Leung announced this morning that key areas of Tsim Sha Tsui will be redeveloped to cope with the influx of mainland tourists. A government spokesperson said that modifications began overnight as rows of portable ’emergency use’ toilets were installed along Hankow Road…

Amidst rising tensions with local residents, the MTR Corporation responded to popular demand and announced that it will introduce ‘loud carriages’ on key lines…

tb3RWn5l.jpg (640×343)

Nominated stations will also feature a ‘Time Out Chair’ for both overly-rambunctious tourists and intolerant locals who heckle them…

dHUH4ti.png (607×519)

Chungking Mansions is set to be redeveloped as a 17-storey ‘Baby Milk and Ferrero Rocher Emporium‘ to relieve pressure on local supermarkets…

Communications Director for A.S. Watson Group, April Fu, promised that “we will sell other popular items as well, such as LV bags, Canadian passports and Yakult multipacks.”

EDLfZegl.jpg (640×198)

When Jewellery giant Chow Tai Fook were approached for comment about their plans to buy up all remaining retail space in the district, a company spokesperson expressed shock. “We believed we already owned all of the outlets along both sides of Nathan Rd. The community can be assured that we are investigating this oversight.

CKP25RK.jpg (655×286)

And in an effort to maintain a harmonious society and aid congestion, pedestrian walkways throughout the city will be split into ‘fast’ and ‘slow’ lanes for locals and tourists respectively…

Local shoppers along the popular neon-lit thoroughfare were sceptical about the changes yesterday. Lei Ying Lo, who did not wish to be identified, said, “I can’t stand all these mainland tourists, coming over here, spending their money, enriching our economy. Why don’t they all go back to where we came from?”

q6vDoNA.png (655×443)

Breaking news bullshit from the Hong Wrong Sub-Standard…


  • Steven Gibert

    Will they also raised the levels of the locals lanes to prevent eye stabbing by umbrellas?

  • Steven Gibert

    Will they also raised the levels of the locals lanes to prevent eye stabbing by umbrellas?

  • Kane Vast

    I was 1/3 through before i realised it was Satire.

  • Kane Vast

    I was 1/3 through before i realised it was Satire.

    • Andy C

      Same… lol