Tag Archives : Shut Up and Take My Money

BLOG – Shut Up and Take My Money #10

The Japanese inventors of this new health gadget insist that you need to regularly exercise your face with an overpriced wobbly spanking paddle to prevent it sagging. Currently being advertised at an MTR station near you, fitness freaks will be relieved to learn that the ‘Facial Fitness Pao‘ is finally available in Hong Kong.

Facial fitness

Definitely not bullshit

Who knew that jamming a HK$990 propeller into your cake hole every day for 30 seconds would restore “youthful expressions that brim with confidence”? This promotional video proves its effectiveness because science and graphs…

BLOG – Shut Up and Take My Money #8

Roll up ladies! Whilst the gents are enjoying their Groupon Tenda eggs, the company now presents a new thing for womankind to get paranoid about. As well as being too fat and probably too hairy, Groupon agrees that your vagina is SHIT, and clearly needs a rigorous bleaching. So shut up and peroxide that punani, fade your front bum and decolourise your kitty for the special one-time price of $199 with Lactacyd Intimate Natural Protection…

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Click for more from this occasional series – Shut Up and Take My Money.

BLOG – Shut Up and Take My Money #7

I like my ice-cream like I like my instant coffee granules – freeze-dried. The astronaut-friendly desert is now available in Hong Kong…

“As you eat the sandwich, your mouth rehydrates the ice-cream, restoring it to its original taste. Amazingly, the ice-cream sandwich looks and tastes just like the original”

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BLOG – Shut Up and Take My Money #5

Ever wish your tights came with a higher level of encryption? Do you lament your current stocking’s resistance when using them to cut through the meat? For better every day colorful, you need Tianzi™ stockings no.6104 which cut seamlessly through the meat…

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BLOG – Shut Up and Take My Money #2

Roll up and head over to Groupon HK for a product that may come in ‘handy’ for anyone looking for an egg-related Easter gift…  Join the 300+ adventurous batchelors who purchased yesterday’s festive hot deal – a “Hygienic, one-time-use, manually-manipulated product that comes with a packet of lubricant“. Bringing a new meaning to ‘cracking’ one out, this unbeatable product comes with free ‘discreet delivery’.

Buyers will be relieved to learn that Tenga eggs accommodate all sizes (although the ‘twister’ egg looks postiviely painful!)